Gary Larson Depicted IT So Well...

Gary Larson Depicted IT So Well...

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Thursday, February 19, 2009

A reply to a nasty letter from a relative >

It’s a choice to tolerate or accept: a chosen way of relating to someone; the same as a choice to reject.

No one must react to anyone’s being, look, beliefs, family, friends…in a predetermined way; they choose how they want to respond. There are those who choose to react harshly to those with mental and physical challenges (even results of accidents). How awful. Is it any less awful to react harshly with challenges we don’t yet understand? Like: culture, religion, style, taste….

Have you ever considered for a moment if your attitude would be that of “toleration” should one of your offspring turn out to be gay? I hope it would be of acceptance so as not to subject them to any more rejection from someone who should love them as they are;

not as you may want them to be.

I understand parents not wishing their offspring to be gay in the same way as not wanting their children to endure hardship. Sadly, it’s a fact that society brings this hardship. Would parents become less concerned if society did not impose any hardship on gays? The problem is with society.

One may say, “No, it’s the person who lives in that society that brings the hardship on them self!” Would that apply to women born in Afghanistan? Many parents, in many places, do not wish the fate of being born a female on their unborn.

Many societies have “come-around” (almost) to accepting women as equally valid beings and the stigma has been lifted. Once being gay is as much a non-issue as being a woman, parents will not live in fear of what may befall their gay children.

You recently said you tolerate my being gay…and that you can monitor how much exposure you subject yourself to.

Am I tolerating your being hetero and limiting how much I subject myself to you – afraid that being around you may influence me to be “that way”? I am not threatened by your being hetero, nor do I think it’s a choice you could change, nor do I want you to be anything different to suit me. It’s your life and I accept it/you as you are/came.

The notion that being gay is a choice seems quite silly:
OK, so each gay person awoke one day and said, “Today, and hereafter, I’ll be gay.” If that were true, my day, I guess, was when I was six years old and 47 days.

The myth that everyone is hetero forces gay people to “come-out”. Can heteros imagine if everyone were assumed gay…what it would be like for them to “come-out” as hetero?

I write this hoping you see the myth as it is — A MYTH.


When you’re gay, you’re the only member of a minority whose family is not also a member of the same minority. If you’re black and you’re ridiculed for it at school, you can come home and your family will empathize with you.

I’m just like you – only, the object of my affection is different. If you’re honest with the facts, nearly all the people you know have differing objects of affection.

We are each powerful and delicate simultaneously, AND that is what we must recognize when dealing with one another.