I was mentally
ill; incapacitated by 34 years of careful hiding in a fundamentalist’s
life and with a wife I did not like. Hiding from an inherited trait for
which family, yourself and others reject you. Is it any less than
rejecting a child for any other inherited attribute . . . blue eyes,
dyslexia, intelligence, a weak heart? The turmoil of believing all my
life that I was condemned for who I know myself to be had pushed me
through a crack in my miserable life. Once through the crack, I believed
that there was no going back. I felt it would be cruel to subject those
I Love to my return. I thought they had put me to rest; in returning, I
found that they had not. It took me nearly seventeen years to become
healthy and whole. My purpose for returning is not to leave. I would not
have returned to leave.
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